I read this recent article on USA Today, and was struck by how close to home it actually hit for me.
It was the headline that grabbed me. I’m exhausted. I’ve felt it for months, and it has been something I’ve had trouble naming. I know it, I feel it, but I can’t articulate it.
I pride myself on being informed. I have a deep desire to learn and grow so for the past year and a half I have read the news, researched topics, and followed the headlines both domestically and internationally. It’s not had a positive influence on me overall. Sure, I know quite a bit about the various investigations, Russia, wildfires, shootings, and other high profile incidents. But, it’s all added up to feeling unwell. It feels like an undiagnosable, low grade illness.
Don’t get me wrong, I still do feel intense moments of joy or sadness, but overall, my “edges” are worn. If I could plot my emotional trend line, it would be fairly flat. That is worrisome to me.
And here is the kicker. I generally know what to do – avoid the news, do what you love, become active in a cause, limit the negative. I’m doing those things to some extent, but I can’t seem to move out from under the cloud. It’s there, and I know it. It’s a cloud of unknown. I ask myself if I could be doing something, should I be doing something? And I know those questions really only make me swirl more.
I don’t have an answer, and maybe that is okay. I do have spring to look forward to, a garden to plan, and a family to spend time with. We have a 14 year old who is likely going to change the world in ways I can never imagine, and we have the present moment to enjoy and savor.
Maybe it’s the simple things in life that are my saving grace. Honestly, I think that is what I crave most – simplicity. Maybe the “answer” is my own human brain overcomplicating what is going on around me. It wouldn’t be the first time.
I’m curious. What do you do when you feel exhausted?